Settling Into the Rails

Now with that title you might think I got off track. But there is a difference between being on track, and settling into the rails.  The train from the clip above didn't really get off track, but it wasn't riding where it should have been in the rails. That is what I mean.

You can be on track, but unsettled, riding too high with not enough speed.  Basically being and causing a big problem for everyone around you, including you. That is how my journey has felt. Right after my fast I was riding high with the success.  A few, (yeah right I wish it was only a few), money problems and months later I went to the nutritionist.  Sure enough my diabetes, (or as some call it DIEaBeetus, thank you Wilfred), was cured.  I have since experimented with a variety of foods. Some of that falling in the good for me category, some not. Not enough to get me off track, but enough that I am finding my limits are much different than I thought they used to be.

For instance, I can now eat spicy food. And by that I don't mean the toned down spicy, I mean full on full spice, curry habanero pepper spicy. This is new for me. Now yes Peppers are technically fruit. They have seeds. I am not about to put them in a fruit smoothie I don't have a recipe for yet. I will be working on where to integrate them into a recipe for a vegetable juice/smoothie.

But the spicy food is a healthy way I found to deal with stress. For whatever reason it releases brain chemicals not dissimilar to morphine. However instead of relying on the short term fix of so called "comfort" food laden with sugars, I punish myself a bit with some spicy curry or a spicy cabbage soup. This does two things. It reminds me that my life is generally a good one. I can afford food when I want it. I have a roof, a job, clothes, access to cheap entertainment, in short I am the 1% of the world that has easy access to an easy life. Second it puts me in charge of my health and takes a small step forward in dealing with the 400 pound gorilla that was my body. (See what I did there?)

Today is technically the second day of my second fast. I feel so good about that. Just about that. Yesterday was a bit of a cluster job. My fasting/diet/exercise partner got sidetracked with her husband. (Relax it is my mother so eww, get your mind out of the gutter you pig!) And I don't have an issue with that, in fact I want her to work out her personal problems. She is my mother after all, but it meant that yesterday was beans, and derailed food. However I am not one to let perfection become the enemy of good. So since I couldn't make my juice for today I stopped by the store and bought a no sweetener smootie, and Green Hornet juice fresh made.  I have nuts I keep at the office, (no this time I mean the kind I can eat), so I ate those unlike last time where I was trying to cut down on all food. I know that I don't need to be perfect. I just need to settle into the rails a bit more.

This time I know that I have to keep the protein high, so nuts are a good thing for me on the fast.  I won't be doing any heavy exercising until I know I am ready for it. That doesn't mean I am taking it easy.  The second time around I find my sleep pattern is all wonky.  I fell asleep Saturday at mom's house for like an hour, (I didn't snore so that is something else I probably need to have checked out to see if I still need my CPAP). Now I know that I should have all kinds of energy, but I haven't been sleeping well.  Between stress at work, looking for a new job, and dealing with addicts in my life... Ugh.

But the takeaway, "Life doesn't stop EVER!! No matter how much you need or want it to stop, it won't."  Sometimes it goes off the rails, but I have found a way to keep it on the rails. It's just that sometimes you are going to have to ride higher and faster than you would like.

That is what I mean when I say you have to be ready in my last post.  Mentally giving up food is like getting separated. Something you depend on is going away. You have to do without the mental crutch that food provides. You know it is coming back, and you know your relationship will be better when it does return. Absence can make the heart grow fonder, because you aren't expecting food to meet a need it cannot.  The flavor is richer.  The love can be heightened.

Today's recipe is for my own version of the green hornet juice:
1 Cucumber
1 Celery heart, (yes the whole thing)
1 bunch Parsley (Italian or curly it doesn't matter)
2 handfuls of Spinach
1 Lemon (you don't need this, but I find it helps to brighten the flavor)
So pop them in your juicer, and blammo out pops a very healthy for you lunch or if you aren't there yet a snack. Remember the doughnut, ramen noodles and hamburger you ate yesterday. Well you know what I say, Everything has a price. Perhaps it is time to stop paying for what you ate yesterday, and enjoy the price of what you can eat today or tomorrow.